Sunday, April 11, 2010

Father(Mother) of the bride

I would like to be anonymous so I can express myself well.

I saw one movie today, "Father of a bride". It's an old English movie but from that I just thought to write my first blog about my moments.

I cry very few times in front of my friends and family. Most of the people I know think, I am very strong person and as such I am. I mostly cry in front of my husband. I am married from little more that 2 years but I know him from almost 10 years.

After my college, I worked for almost 2 years and then I thought to go for Master's. I applied and prepared myself for that. On the day of visa as usual I was very nervous. My mobile roaming was not working till last day so I was very angry about that but as soon as it worked, my dad was very confident that now I will surely get my visa(he didn't tell me that until I got my visa) and I will reach little nearer to my love. And surely he(dad) was right. I was too excited for getting visa and my mom was too. But my mom cried on phone talking to her brother about getting my visa. She was very happy about me but she was also sad about thinking that I am leaving(and it's not even due to marriage). Now whenever I will be back home, it will never be the same. Just like the movie without my marriage. I knew about that when I was visiting my mom's brother's family before I leave my country for my study. Whenever I think about this incidence, I almost cry!!! Actually I realized the same in my last few days at my home. I cried a LOT in nights sleeping in my bed. I cried while celebrating one festival(Rakshabandhan) on the last day just before leaving for airport. That festival is about brother-sister bond.

Lot of things happened in 1 and half year while my Master's. But lets jump to my wedding. After completing my final exam for 3rd semester, I flew home for the first time for my weeing. It was surely an overwhelming feeling as my wedding was in 15 days and I had lot of things to do till that time. Most of the times, I was not at home for shopping and whenever I was, it was full of relatives. I remember one incidence, I was angry due to my tight schedule and I was trying not to shout on my family due to my mixed emotions. My perception is, usually you shout on YOUR OWN family because of the situation, emotions etc.. Something happened and my emotions came out. We all cried at that time, my dad, my mom, brother, my sister(who is married) and of course I am. Sometimes you have to let go of your emotions.

Girl's wedding is a very emotional feeling. I knew him(my husband) from long time but I think you never want to grow up. Can you imagine in that 15 days, I was at home just 2 days before my wedding. Indian wedding starts at that time, I mean all the ceremonies like Mehndi etc. I wanted to be JUST with my family for sometime before my wedding, I never got that chance. Same thing happened this time too, I cried at LOT in nights in my bed before my wedding. I was suppose to leave for wedding venue one day earlier. That moment was....... (I have no words). It's not easy for a girl to get married. You have to be strong for your family. I know, if I will cry, no one can stop their tears. That night too I cried a lot. Then comes the happy part... MARRIAGE. But that is followed by the worst part of all... VIDAI.

I have to think about my parents. I can't imagine what kind of overwhelming feeling they had from while going home when on the next day, their son was leaving for his Master's and their other older daughter had JIYANU. Just within 24 hours, they were all alone in my big house.

I even remember my sister's wedding. Her wedding was literally in 15 days. It means we had totally 15 days for everything from shopping to hall booking to catering etc.. In that 15 days 1 day my dad was doing something as a preparation for marriage and suddenly he started crying. That was before above all(whatever I have mentioned in my blog about my visa, marriage etc.). That was the first time I realized how difficult a daughter's wedding is for parents.

And I think now you can understand why I have never seen my wedding DVDs.


Searching for the reason said...

awwwee... it seems that you must cried while writing this post too :)

marriage though is a happy occasion but makes everyone cry...a perfect example of mixed emotions...

Line of a poem... said...

I surely did and some how I just always end up crying while thinking about my marriage. I tried to put some of my emotions in words here. I am glad you enjoyed it.

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